About Mindful Relating, LLC

Are you on the brink of a break up? Are you feeling that you get locked into similar conflicts over and over again when you believe they should be resolved? Are you experiencing distance, tension or uneasiness around someone you want to feel close to?

Mindful- Relating was born after many years of professional and personal experience, training and observation of how to guide couples in creating the relationship they dream of.

Kareen is trained in Imago Relationship Therapy and has experienced working with tenuous relationships that have been rebuilt in a ways you would not think possible.

The Vision Statement

It’s vision is to provide couples with the map, the tools and the skills to transform their relationship.

#1 The Map: Where are we and where are we going?

There is a common assumption among couples that their problems need to be solved in order for them to get along. Mindful- Relating believes that this premise could at best smooth out issues temporarily. Often when a solution has been found to solve one particular problem, another problem emerges and when a solution is found for this apparent new problem, again a new issue appears. Looking at relationships as problems to be solved reinforce patterns of interaction that get couples further down the rabbit hole. Therefore, rather than looking at relationships as problems to be solved, Hedy Schleifer (world renowned relationship transformer) invites couples to look at relationships as “an adventure to be embraced”, “ a mystery to be understood” or a “gift to be unpacked”.

A map also provides couples with both a destination and directions. The destination is the dream vision of what couples aspires for their relationship. Mindful-Relating believes that change happens when couples start to align themselves and consciously engage into behaviors that move them toward their dreams.

Directions allow couples to explore and navigate safely in unknown and difficult territories and discover deeper truth about themselves and each other. With these discoveries comes the realization of where they are and what they need to do to recreate and/or repair their connection.

#2 The tools: what to do to create and honor the sacred space between couples?

Every couple in a relational impasse will tell you how much they have tried to communicate and how communication has become a core issue. They do not know that 92 percent of communication is non-verbal and happens in very subtle ways and they are not aware of how they trigger each other in reacting in very predictable ways:

A common pattern that could lead to a relational impasse is for example: The more he/she angrily controls and the more resentfully helpless he/she acts and the more resentfully helpless she/he acts the more she/he angrily controls.

Mindful-Relating guides couples to become aware of their own particular cycles of self-defeating behaviors, which lead them to painful downward spirals. Once couple is awaken to this reality, they are guided to practice mindful-relating communication:

Couples learn the ways to feel heard, understood and validated by their spouses/partners and create joy in their relationship.

Another basic assumption of Mindful-Relating is the idea of “Sacred Space”; The idea of “Sacred space” is much more than “safe space”. It refers to regarding the other person in its essence, fundamental internal goodness and dignity”. When the “sacred space “ is honored in the relationship, couples start to move beyond their power struggles and toward mature Love.

#3 The skills: the practice

Transformation requires practice. Once couples learn that what causes pain and difficulties in their relationship are habitual patterns of survival they learn in childhood, they still need to choose to practice the skills that honor the “Sacred space between them “. It is very important not only for the couple to honor the space but also for the children. Hedy Schleifer puts it in a beautiful way by saying: “The space between the couples is the children’s playground”: The children need a safe space in order to grow.